Talk to someone now. Call us on 1800 33 4673.

Talk Over The Phone Chat Online Talk over email What to do in an emergency

Lean In

Dan

 


Stretch marks
On my stomach, on my arms
To some, they represent
Success, willpower and self-control
You made it,
You’re good enough
To be one of ‘us’



But to me,
They stole years of my life
And represent deep secrets
Before untold
But now unfold



I wanted to be wanted
To be loved, to feel like I belonged
I thought that’s what
Those stretch marks would
Give me but how
I was wronged



Because instead
That quest led to a path
Of obsession
Of social isolation
I fell into a deep depression



And for what?
To fit into society’s
BS beauty ideals
With its constant judgement
And impropriety
What happened to the real me?



I looked the part
But still didn’t feel
Like I was enough
And so continued the shame
And self blame
Disconnection



All those fantasies gone
Started a period of mourning
But no warning
That what I had to do
Was harder than
Control my body
It was time
To work on my mind
Question my beliefs
Where did they come from?



In a time of reflection
I discovered it was my younger years
That’s when I was teased
By siblings, by strangers,
By my peers



It hurt so bad
Did they know the damage?
Those constant messages
You are fat
Don’t eat that
How else does a kid translate
But you aren’t good enough



Now, twenty years later
I realize
My self worth
Is not dependent
on my size
That I am enough
Just as I am



I have broken free of
The shackles
Obedience, no longer
To a culture that is sick
In its own right
Resilience, I am stronger



I haven’t given in
And let myself go
But rather just letting myself be
I have found self-acceptance
Not quite love,
But neutrality



I have found my dharma
My calling
To stand up and challenge
The status quo
Time to put on the armour
I hold forth my courage
And advocate
For Health At Every Size
And body positivity
All bodies are good bodies
This isn’t a guise
But a way to set ourselves free
We have a choice
We don’t have to conform
To the social norm,
Of self-hatred and punishment
Losing our self and voice



Instead
Self-compassion and care
Look after yourself
Be mindful and reconnect
Live a life of vitality



Yes, it’s a challenge
To step into the darkness
Without seeing the light
But when we lean in
Lean in to the vulnerability
It makes our story and life richer
Lean in