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A Disorderly Poem

Ellie

I was facing a lot, the traumas stacked high,
Led to disarray, and all the reasons why.
Domestic violence my parents incited,
I had no respite, I was truly frightened.
They argued and fought, my childhood vanished,
Daily, I felt as though I was punished.
With an extended family so callously skew,
That didn’t give a damn and projected their view.
I ate a lot to deal with the pain,
I had no one to talk to, I was going insane.
Only 13 I was, on the teenage border,
With probable cause, I developed an eating disorder.
Not bullied at school, they battered no eye,
So you may turn around, wonder, or ask why?
I was fat shamed by family and a horrible uncle,
Whose words I still hear, that caused me to crumble.
An attention seeker, spoiled brat I would hear
They didn’t lend a hand or say that I’m here.
Surrounded by adults so broken inside,
Safe in their houses insulting a child.
Shut down, crippled, filled with fear,
No one to say that I’m here for you dear.
I felt alone and unheard, life was unfair,
I was facing a lot, but who was there?
Before long, as I started to shrink,
Bed ridden and weak caused them to think!
There’s something wrong with her,
Was the new slur.
You’re broken dear,
But we’re all here.
Glass houses throwing rocks now had a notion.
An epiphany prevailed, the doctor’s potion?
Released from drips, out of hospital I came,
Only for their next words of shame.
You’re way too thin, they started to yell,
You don’t look nice and rather unwell.
This continued for years to date,
Into my adulthood, my weight’s up for debate.
I started to think how stupid they could be,
Which is when I realised it wasn’t me!
Their mental state was utterly a mess,
Unhappy adults that sought to oppress.
I’m fine as I am, and happily content,
I’m well and healthy, but their words are bent.
If I continued to listen to their words and mould,
‘Oh she’s dead!’ would be the next slurs told.
The closer to you can batter and bruise.
Don’t live for them, cruel words aren’t true.
If you’re an adult reading this now,
Listen to children and take a vow!
Never to label, assume or project,
Never to neglect, or disrespect.
Make a conscious effort to be mindful of words,
For children look to you to be heard.
If you’re a child feeling trapped and scared,
Know that there are people right here who care.
Your courage and strength are testament and true,
Don’t let anyone’s words ruin you.
Your beautiful and perfect the way you are,
Take care of you health, it’ll take you far.

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